I normally write an update a few days after treatment, because all is well in the world again and Mary Poppins is singing in the air. Well, whatever…that wasn’t the case this time. Round 3 was tougher. But it’s to be expected…we were told that each round takes a little more to recover each time. Blah! Whoa is me.
Who is this person writing this Debbie Downer post??? I’ve been so focused on staying positive and all “Proverbs 31 girl”, I almost don’t recognize some of the words coming out of my mouth…but it wasn’t so easy this time. However, my inner “Proverbs 31 girl” reminds me that how I felt on the bad days is only temporary and tomorrow is a new day. And it did get better!
So, we headed out last Wednesday to go to TXO for my third infusion of AC (yuck!). Everything was going well. Then between the A and the C drugs, I started feeling nauseated, which I had never felt during treatment before. So, they gave me a huge dose of Ativan to combat it (yay!). When we were done, I looked like a drunk woman walking through the parking lot. Guess they gave me the good stuff! We got home, and I crashed and slept like I hadn’t slept before. I woke up on Thursday feeling like a champ! I was really optimistic about the recovery for this round. By Friday afternoon, the steroids were wearing off and I was starting to fade. Saturday morning at 4:30, I woke with the most awful of awful headaches. I seriously thought I was going to need a trip to the ER for fluids. But after several meds and naps, I was back among the living Saturday night. I kept telling myself…tomorrow is Sunday, and Sunday is always better!
Sunday was marginally better. What??? Sundays are always better, except this time. My best friend even texted me…”How are you? It’s Sunday!!” Somewhere my chemo calendar has gotten itself confused…I feel like I’m watching Groundhog’s Day. Every day I wake up expecting to feel great again, like I have after the first two treatments…but I don’t. The headache is gone. yay! But I just can’t shake this nausea…it’s just enough to make me aware. Even worse…my taste buds are all jacked up. I’m from Texas, where we drink Tea…and lots of it. I CANNOT STAND the taste of Tea. Whoa is me! I can’t drink tea…or water…or tea. 😦
Enough of my whining and self-pity-partying. Ugh. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Silver Linings…I can shower in under 5 minutes now! No hair to wash or legs to shave. #Winning Sara is getting used to seeing my bald head, too! I accidentally left my head cover at home the other morning when I was taking her and her friends to school. I offered to go back to the house to get it before we left the street, but she was all, “Nah, Mom, it’s okay”. This is huge!!! I wear my wig to work, and some people don’t realize it’s a wig. They’ve come such a long way in making good ones. Mine is really light weight and easy to throw on and go.
By Wednesday afternoon (a week after treatment), I started feeling more like myself. My taste buds are still a mess, but that’s to be expected. I get tired faster than normal if I’m “active” for more than a few minutes at a time. Like cleaning house, for example. If I do more than 15-20 minutes at once, I’m winded and feel completely wiped out. Clint keeps telling me to stop doing so much and take it easy, but when I feel good I want to do stuff! So, I’m trying to be better about pacing myself. And drinking fluids! The less I drink, the quicker I feel tired, I’ve found. So, Powerade Zero has been my savior…and milk, of all things! It’s the only thing that tastes “right” to me…so, I’ve been drinking a lot of it.
Next week is my last AC treatment…praise Jesus. I haven’t gotten physically ill yet on any treatment. However, the thought of going in for AC literally makes my gag reflex kick in…like now as I type this. So, I try not to think about it. After that treatment, I get 2 weeks off, and then start a weekly treatment of Taxol for 12 weeks…boo! But it is supposed to be a lot easier to take than AC, so I’m looking forward to that.
I will post again before my next treatment. This one ran way long, and is so blah…but it’s birthday and Mother’s day weekend at our house this weekend. Always a busy (and expensive) weekend at our house. My baby turns 12! And I turn 40! I was looking forward to 40, but now I’m really excited about 41, because active treatment will be behind me and I should be in full recovery, grow-my-hair-back-out mode this time next year!